eu‧phe‧mism  /ˈyufəˌmɪzəm/[yoo-fuh-miz-uhm] – noun
1. the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.

I like that this definition comes from the UN-abridged dictionary….

Anyway. Today provided a wonderful example of euphemism. It was another follow-up appointment with my doctor, who:

1) Was very positive at the progress of my feet; and
2) Offered this euphemism:

“It’s really surprising, how cautious you are being… given your demographic.”

Some alternative translations:
“You are acting wimpier than any grandmother would.”
“You are a woos.”
“Get over it.”

I spent a moment assessing whether I should feel ashamed or embarassed (hey, I teach aerobics!). I admit I’ve been careful but come on: who wants to mess up surgery like that? It’s your *feet*. So, I chose to put the shame asiide and instead to feel encouraged. I am getting better! There is light at the end of tunnel!

So I opted to walk back as much as I could to the MUNI (ok, i took the bus for 1 block). And I had some nice chuckles along the way. “For your demographic.” Nice.

So I’m grateful for the discussion forum I found on myfootshop.com — the community of people there are so encouraging. I WILL get better. My butt and body ache from lack of activity. I’m going nuts being on my butt. I’m frustrated I can’t be at work for meetings I want to attend.

But it WILL get better. And soon, I can click my heels (or birks) 3 times and make it so!

Monday November 20:
All I wanted was to get out….despite all of the ways my friends are getting me out: driving me to dinner, to church, to baptisms, to Thanksgiving dinners…I just wanted a little “night on the town” – a 2-block walk to the Bi-Rite market, for heaven’s sake.

Of course, I failed to factor in the fact that once I was *at* Bi-Rite I would need to be standing around shopping. Oops. So despite the walk-breaks on the way back – at Dolores Park Cafe and the bus stop…I was POOPED by the time I got back.

Tuesday November 21:
My friend Laura takes me to the doctor. This is a momentous day: I get sutures removed and license to take (brace yourself) a SHOWER!!! Pretty darned exciting. I mean, I appreciate Wet Wipes (trust me, I *really* do now!), but the idea of having *water* be the cleansing agent for my body was starting to sound really appealing. That was, of course, until it hit home that I would be standing on my UNSECURED feet — free of the security and safety of the surgical booties! Eeeipes!! I kept having visions of me falling in the shower…bad imagery – don’t go there – visualize being clean and DONE with the ordeal. I finally made it, but resolved to sit on my butt for future showers.

Sadly, after those two episodes, my feet were finished. The next two evenings (why is it so bad in the evening?) I slept 2-3 hours each owing to the THROBBING pain in my feet.

Will I ever get better? When is it ok to “stretch” things and walk a bit? Stand up? Or do I need to be paranoid aboutit all? Can I ever imagine returning to work or being normal? Discouragement sets in!