My love for euphemisms continues…

• “Is that bad?” = I am a cruel person
• “Your goals align with mine” = Your work will support my goals (variation: In this case, there IS an I in teamwork)
• “Professional” = I am not employed and have no title.
• “Executive” = same as immediately above, but I also seek a role where I can delegate and get paid a lot
• “Thanks for being so open” = I am going to do my best to forget everything you just over-shared.

..and on a darker note:
“Assigned to a special military tribunal” = time to make arrangements

[Of course, I would welcome learning of cases where such fora ruled in favor of the defendant and thus be proven wrong].